I’ve dreaded this blog for years. I mean, I share my life on social media - but this, this felt too close to home. We’re ready though. I’m finally ready to talk about infertility.
I always knew I wanted to share - I just didn’t know when - and I was {am} worried that I will say the wrong thing. I’m worried I won’t do a great job representing the true challenge this journey can be for most - and in the same way I don’t assume I am some kind of spokesperson for the families in the world dealing with infertility.
So, give me grace, please!! This is just our journey.
Loren {my husband} & I have been trying to start a family for about 3 years {not including a deployment}. We’ve tried just about everything now. I’ll fast forward through the normal “trying” stories and skip to early 2015. I always knew at SOME point I would share this journey. So I have some video to share in here too - I think it helps put the timeline together - for me at least. 🙂
For those of you who don’t know me - super quick intro. I’m Brittany. I’m a Christian - and I love & trust Jesus. I just turned 31 in March of 2016. I’m married, my handsome husband’s name is Loren. He’s in the military. I’m an entrepreneur {retired nurse} and work from home. I’m an optimistic person. God gave me that. I’m not sure how much to get into my past - but it was a rocky childhood / young adulthood. I married my best friend, Loren when I was 26 - and moved from FL to CA the day after our wedding so he could continue a training program there. It was fun. We LOVED being young & married. The lifestyle I was thrown into was hectic, to say the least - so the plan was always “to wait a few years before having children.” ….. as if it was our choice 😉
Fast forward a year or so into our marriage - and we knew we were open & ready to consider starting a family. We didn’t stress about it… Just was a fun new season of life, not to worry about it & look forward to expanding our family. That went on for a while. Then came timing, calendars, ovulation predictors, charting, etc. We did that for a year or so - because, man, we are HEALTHY!! 🙂
I’m a nurse. I know sometimes this stuff just takes time. I ‘knew’ not to worry.
Then deployment came & I think for me, reality set in that every year he was going to be MIA for quite some time. We would be limited in the time we had to get pregnant. I told myself when he came back I would make sure to take this a little more seriously - at this point we had been trying for 2 years.
Before he got back to the states - I went to my OB - total check up - totally fine. My OB started me on Femara - low dose, 1 a day for days 3 through 7 of my cycle. This would help make sure my body was producing a follicle (or two) & an egg to ovulate. Loren got back home. I was on the medication. We tried that for 3 months as instructed.
Nada.
So, I knew I needed to be sure everything was ok from a fertility standpoint. I went in and met the doctor’s at The Jones Institute, here in my neighborhood {lucky me}.
I had an HSG - normal. {early 2015}
That’s an acronym for hysterosalpingogram. It’s just an x-ray procedure that shows whether the fallopian tubes are open & unobstructed and if the inside of the uterus is normal. Normal baby house.
{PS: always, always, always - bring a book to all these fertility appointments!! Work on PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT!! I recommend: The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell - to start!
[PSS: I don’t get a kick back there]
Now it was Loren’s turn 🙂 You can google what guys do - but it was pretty simple and all was fine. He had a SMALL “less than perfect” result on his analysis - but definitely not abnormal. Doc said that the value could vary between test samples. He had repeats after this - and all was normal.
So, all this to say - we have “UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY.”
{I know… there is probably no such thing… but that’s the word on the street}
Next step?
They said with almost 3 years of trying - there is no sense in doing TIMED baby making anymore - we’ve done that. A. LOT.
So, next step is I.U.I. {November 2015}
Here is a quick lesson for you:
Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is the placing of sperm into a woman’s uterus when she is ovulating. IUI is usually done in conjunction with ovulation stimulating drugs.
YouTube has a ton of intense demonstrations if you’re curious - haha!
Basic run down for each IUI for me:
Start Monthly Cycle
Day 3 : Start higher dose Femara {to ensure follicles are forming w/ eggs inside}
Have ultrasound on Day 13ish to be sure follicles are there AND also that there aren’t too many {no octuplets}
Day 13 : usually in evening - inject “trigger shot” of Ovidrel - which just makes SURE I actually ovulate {release the egg}
Day 14ish : go into office
- doc will place a thin catheter and put Loren’s sample {frozen or fresh} right inside the uterus for when the egg drops.
Wait 2 weeks {torture}
If Monthly Cycle doesn’t start - take home pregnancy test
If cycle starts - rinse & repeat.
TIMING - IS - EVERYTHING.
Let me pause from the procedure talk.
The REASONS Loren & I didn’t share this info sooner …..
1. We have UNEXPLAINED infertility & we are a HEALTHY couple. I thought maybe 1 or 2 IUI’s… and we will be pregnant. We can wait & then tell the WHOLE story…. yay!
2. The news of failed IUI after failed IUI was so disappointing - I truly didn’t want anyone else to have to go through a similar disappointment for us - we have some AMAZING friends & family & I knew how sympathetic they’d be.
3. It got harder to share the deeper we were into our fertility journey - where do I start?! It’s not really coffee talk.
4. 99.9% of our friends and family are expecting or LOVING their new members of their families. Infertility is a GIANT bummer - and we didn’t want to take away even a SINGLE OUNCE of their joy - because we know our friends would absolutely feel a little bit for us… and even that was too much to us.
5. Some of our close friends JUST went through IVF {successfully - YAY!!} what are the STATISTICAL ODDS that we would TOO!? Slim… right!?! {wrong!!!}
6. Loren & I are positive - optimistic people & most importantly, we trust God’s plan whole heartedly. I just am not sure I was going to be able to protect my mental energy (and positive energy) if I had to talk about it more often/answer questions. I hope that makes sense & doesn’t sound snotty.
So, why now?
Well, hindsight is everything right!? I don’t regret keeping this between Loren & I {and my sister} 🙂 - but I now know our reality. I also know how DIFFICULT it is to find uplifting/positive people going through fertility issues. I now know how common infertility is & how awkward it is to talk about. So, I decided to be one more voice.
Also, my husband serves - and I cannot talk about his career - basically ever. It takes up a BIG part of our everyday lives {mentally, emotionally & physically}. Infertility grew to be the BIGGEST part of my daily schedule {timing of EVERYTHING} and daily thoughts. Virtually ALL my energy is geared towards a sweet & healthy baby. I share my life on social media. I found myself not being able to talk about the two most important things in my life - and it just got to the point where I felt like I had to be VAGUE about everything - and eventually… I didn’t feel like myself anymore.
I’m not sad. We are SO hopeful. We are positive!!! I just needed to be able to be open about it - when I want to talk about it. This is a part of my story, now.
I needed to tell even one woman, that I can relate to how she’s feeling.
SO…. I type.
Here we go {videos below}:
- December 5th, 2015: IUI #1 - I responded perfectly to fertility medication. Follicles where mature & uterine lining thick. Doc inseminated frozen sperm.
…. failed
- December 30th, 2015: IUI #2 - I responded perfectly to fertility medication. Follicles where mature & uterine lining thick. Doc inseminated fresh sperm.
- December 31st, 2015: IUI #2b {same cycle} - next day doc inseminated frozen sperm.
…. both failed
- January 23rd, 2016: IUI #3 - I responded perfectly to fertility medication. Follicles where mature & uterine lining thick. Doc inseminated frozen sperm.
…. failed
- February 22nd, 2016: IUI #4 - I responded perfectly to fertility medication. Follicles where mature & uterine lining thick. Doc inseminated fresh sperm.
…. failed
I am really looking forward to sharing my journey - but more than that, I’m looking forward to sharing what we learn through it all - what helps us - and how God is working. Obviously, we are PRAYING for God to give us a healthy baby after all of this. We would be so grateful if you’d join us in praying for God to move & provide!! We know He’s a GOOD, GOOD, Father & we are loved by Him.
NATIONAL INFERTILITY AWARENESS WEEK is April 24th - April 30th. { <— click that link to read more}
1 in 8 couples (or 12% of married women) have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy.
A couple ages 29-33 with a normal functioning reproductive system has only a 20-25% chance of conceiving in any given month.
These are facts from THIS SITE - go read more if you’re a fact-lover, like me.
Next up:
Thoughts on acupuncture & chiropractors for fertility
Homemade TRACKERS
Extra supplements
Visualizing
Tricks for heat & ice {from a nurse -turned- patient}
& Fertility Playlists…
Thanks from the bottom of our hearts for reading & being a listening ear 🙂
Brittany & Loren
I’m on SnapChat, Facebook, YouTube & IG - all brittanylegette names 🙂 Would love to connect & hear your story!
EXTRA VIDEO:
— a few honest thoughts after our 3rd failed IUI:
Whenever you get a chance (obviously you are pretty busy today!) would you share what you use for visualization and fertility meditation? I found a couple things I like, but am always looking for new ideas.
Thanks, and again, thanks for sharing your journey…it has already helped me more than I can express!
I found such a great site and got the best information on this topic from your site. Thanks for your support. I am very satisfied with your information and tips they very help us and very nice. You made a good site its very useful to us.